Chapter 17

Jayfeather's heart seemed to flounder. It thumped pitifully against his chest as Sarah's tail weaved absentmindedly around his neck. He shifted away slightly, bumping into Twilight on his other side.
"Excuse me," He murmured, slipping through the crowd of cats and entering the drafty medicine den. He was alone, at last, and he could finally think about things. He settled down amongst a group of ferns and moss and just let his mind wander while his eyes slowly closed.
Soon, he was in a large forest, a low lying mist settling around him. It was so thick he could barely see his paws. Scents swirled around him, cats from his past, present and future though he could pick out no scents to be sure of who it was.
"Oh Jayfeather," A sweet voice whispered in his ear,"What are you going to do..." The voice mumbled quietly. He tried to see where the voice was coming from but it eluded him. "Don't worry my love," The voice belonged to multiple cats speaking at once,"I will always watch over you," The voice confused him, what was he doing? Who were these cats? ,"Oh Jayfeather... Jayfeather... Jayfeather," The voice continued, slowly then faster.
"Jayfeather, Jayfeather! Jayfeather!"
Jayfeather blinked open his eyes, the forest was gone and replaced by the ever dark world of reality. "What?"
Honeypaw's voice broke into his ears once again,"Jayfeather, we're low on cobwebs and chamomile, should I ask Willowshine to help us gather some?" Jayfeather felt his ears burn with guilt, he had completely forgotten about Honeypaw after the announcement that Sarah was leaving with Tinder to Riverclan territory. She was all he could think about now.
"Yes of course, go and ask Willowshine and Twilight, we also need burdock and catnip and Twilight could help carry some back," Jayfeather mewed. And I want to test Twilight's interest in herbs...
"Sure!" Honeypaw purred, Jayfeather could hear her paws click out of the den. He began to groom himself, flicking moss off his moss with his tongue.
"Ready to go Jayfeather?" Willowshine called out from outside the den. Jayfeather pushed past the ferns and joined her and the two others coming along. They padded past the nursery and fresh kill pile where the newly made warrior, Mountainstripe, was eating with Twigstorm, Leaftail, and Bumblestripe.
"So what were the clans like before the Great Battle?" Twigstorm asked Bumblestripe.
Jayfeather heard Bumblestripe flick his tail against a fern, "The clans lived separate, there were a lot more cats, and we went to gatherings every moon."
"I can't wait until we go to gatherings,"  Twigstorm sighed shaking his head.
"Give the clans a few days to settle in again to their old homes," Willowshine added,"You'll go to one in no time," She promised sweetly. Jayfeather felt agitation swirl around the camp, coming from Sarah then a few others, the scent telling him it was from Cristy and Ghost who weren't on patrol today. Jayfeather couldn't figure out why though.
"Come then," Jayfeather ushered the group away, Honeypaw and Twilight in front of him while Willowshine behind him.
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"Jayfeather I need to talk to you!" Sarah hissed from behind the tabby medicine cat. Jayfeather whipped around, anxiety flaring through him. He was in his den stacking the herbs from earlier today. They had gotten their quota and more, and Twilight had shown quite an interest in herbs and the best places to find them. Now he was alone in the cave, except for Sarah here now.
"Here? Now?" Jayfeather panicked, dropping his herbs on the dusty floor. Honeypaw would be back anytime now from applying the poultice to Slatepelt's sore pads and Willowshine was checking on the queens in the nursery.
"Yes, now," Sarah hissed, Jayfeather stepped back, he could feel angry pulsing through her. He dove into her mind, but now all he felt was a cat trying to calm herself down. "Jayfeather come on! I must speak with you!" Sarah urged. Jayfeather pushed his herbs aside for the moment and beckoned her forward.
"Follow me," He led her to the back of the cave, behind the large stacks of herbs that were going to needed to be stock piled for Leaf Bare, past a few ferns and into a cleft in the wall. A fresh scent of the forest was the only clue that this cave led on into another part of the forest. This is how the clans had won the Great Battle.
"Come on, we'll talk in the middle of the tunnel." Jayfeather walked into the tunnel, the slope rising gently, rocks tumbling behind him. Hopefully no one would come looking for him here, he didn't want to be questioned about his whereabouts.
"What's this about?" He spat impatiently.
"We need to meet tonight, there's going to be to much preparation for the clans leaving tomorrow night to be able to meet in the forest alone," Sarah whispered, flicking her tail over his ear. Jayfeather shivered. He had forgotten about their meeting agreement until now. He nodded.
"Why don't you just stay with Thunderclan," Jayfeather pleaded,"It'll be so much easier, we won't have to stay away from each other,"
Sarah sighed, Jayfeather could feel her grief but refrained from jumping into her thoughts,"I can't. Ghost and Raccoon are my brothers. I couldn't leave them, and they love the water, they want to go to Riverclan so badly," Jayfeather understood, he could never leave Lionblaze or any of his family for Sarah no matter what. "We'll still see each other at Gatherings, and tonight it'll just be us two." Sarah whispered, wrapping her tail around his waist and licking his head. She parted with him and walked back through the tunnel, whispering,"Remember, by the Sky Oak at Moonhigh, I'll see you tonight my love,"
Jayfeather waited silently, thinking and rethinking what he was doing. He knew it was wrong. So very very wrong. He was walking down the same path as his mother, instantly making his name in Starclan something to be said behind closed dens and questioned by multiple cat he didn't even know. Panic gripped him and he began to wheeze, slowly losing sane thoughts as he padded back and forth through the tunnel. He had to get out of this tunnel, he could feel it closing in on him. Why hadn't Starclan warned him that he was going to die while the tunnel collapsed? Had they abandoned him? The thought made him panic more. He would die, and be sent to the Dark Forest where he would find Mapleshade or Darkstripe and they would torture him. He wheezed harder as he sprinted out of the tunnel. He tore through the grass as he reached the forest, sprinting through the trees through Thunderclan territory. He could hear trees whizzing past his ears, and soon he was in unfamiliar territory. He slowed to a stop under a large oak tree. His breathing was ragged, his fur was greasy and sticking out in all directions. He tried to groom but burrs nipped at his tongue that were stuck through his fur. Blood seeped from a few scratched that could only of come from a bramble bush that he had burst through without realizing. He began to pluck the burrs from his pelt and lick his wounds. His breathing slowly returned to normal, along with his thoughts. He knew now the tunnel wasn't collapsing, it was just his panic. But still he felt Starclan was leaving him, he hadn't had any dreams from them other than seeing Starclan accept Honeypaw. He sat there staring into the empty blackness of his sight while the sun settled lower in the sky. If he wasn't back soon there would be a search patrol sent out especially with Whitewing's murderer still unknown. But still her sat there, he could hear pawsteps creeping up behind him, multiple cats were approaching from where he had fled from the clans. He braced himself for an attack, these cats could be Whitewing's murderer.
"He's here," Bumblestripe hollered behind him. The large gray tabby approached him, Jayfeather could feel his eyes gazing all over him, into each cut and burr in confusion. "Come on, lets get you back to camp," More cats helped him up, Cinderheart included. Others included Dovepelt, Firepaw, and Mountainstripe.
"What happened?" Firepaw whispered into his ear as he helped the older medicine cat onto his paws.
"Let Jayfeather go, he'll tell Bramblestar what happened when we get back to camp," Cinderheart mewed calmly. Jayfeather narrowed his sightless eyes, he jumped into her thoughts. It was Cinderpelt speaking, she was so calm and collected now after only two days!
"Firepaw go ahead and tell Bramblestar we've found him," Dovepelt instructed her apprentice. He dashed off through the forest. Jayfeather felt shame prickle at his pelt, he really didn't want Bramblestar to ask him why he had dashed off through the forest.
Soon, they were arrving at the Thunderclan camp entrance. The sky was now dark, many cats were going into their dens for a night's rest. Like always though, there was not enough room for all the warriors in the warrios' den and some had settled onto the ground in large bunches. Cinderheart told the others to go get some sleep as she led him up to the leaders' den.
"Bramblestar?" Cinderheart called in.
"Come in," Bramblestar's throaty mew echoed outside the cave. Jayfeather and Cinderheart both walked in at the same time. Bramblestar was alone. "I asked the other leaders to give us a moment alone." Bramblestar seemed to read Jayfeather's thoughts.
"We found Jayfeather right outside our territory," Cinderheart explained,"He looked quite dazed,"
"Let me speak for myself!" Jayfeather spat angrily, he wasn't dazed, he was confused and thinking.
"Very well Jayfeather, go ahead and explain why you ran off," Bramblestar murmured.
"Stop talking to me like I'm an apprentice who ran into the forest without their mentor, I'm your medicine cat Bramblestar. I know what I'm doing. I was simply looking for... signs from Starclan," Jayfeather improvised quickly while defending himself.
"If you were just looking for signs why do you have scratches all over your body and burrs stuck in your pelt Jayfeather?" Cinderheart's irritated voice asked him rhetorically.
Bramblestar ignored his deputy's outburst,"Did you see anything Jayfeather? From Starclan? Some kind of sign?" The leader seemed to yearn for some sign from Starclan, and Jayfeather could offer him nothing.
He shook his head,"Starclan are silent Bramblestar,"